The rules of Meme Monday are simple: I give you a topic. You write about the topic. No need to link back, or tag anyone. It is a writing exercise only.

The topic for tomorrow is this: If you could go back in time and meet yourself on Day One of your IT career, what advice would you give?

In my case, I would go back, slap myself in the back of the head, and tell me to NOT send “those” emails.

You know the type of emails I am talking about. It is often much better to pick up a phone.

I look forward to reading your entries! Just post to twitter with the #mememonday hashtag and I can read them all.

The post Meme Monday for May appeared first on Thomas LaRock.

This month the assignment is as follows:

List out all the little things you do as a DBA, since the term DBA means so many different things in each shop.

Simple, right?

Here would be my example:

• backups
• restores
• security
• audit reviews
• troubleshooting
• monitoring
• administering anything with the letters ‘SQL’
• explain how and why the code in development performs better than the code in production
• upgrades
• migrations
• attend long meetings
• develop the ability to detect issues before they happen
• commiserate with server and network admins as necessary
• troubleshoot issues with Active Directory
• disaster recovery exercises
• regular maintenance for indexes and integrity
• referee
• therapist
• say no to the developers that still insist on SA rights
• work most nights and weekends
• beg server admins for more disk space
• beg customers to purge/archive data because server admins won’t give you more disk space
• develop some type of food/drink addiction (bacon, coffee, etc.)

Enjoy this assignment, I look forward to reading your posts next week!

The post Meme Monday for March appeared first on Thomas LaRock.

The topic this time around will be: working with deadlines.

Think about any tips or tricks you have with regards to working with (or around) deadlines. Your stories and experience with getting stuff done with only minutes to spare would be great to share with others.

Most of my best stories about getting things done with only minutes to spare have to do with coaching and I really couldn’t put into words on a blog so you’ll need to stop me sometime and ask me about them in person. As far as being a database professional, the tip I would give you is this: work backwards.

If you have a deadline, you likely have a project of some type. If you have a project of some type you likely have details and deliverables that make up the project. If you know the details and deliverables you likely will know the things you need in order to get those details done and delivered. If you know the things you need to do, then you likely know how long they will take. And all of that means you should be able to figure out when certain things need to get started, and finished.

Working backwards has always helped me stay on top of such things, and I would encourage you to try that as well.

The post Meme Monday for February appeared first on Thomas LaRock.

The topic this month is this: What do you want to do for your #sqlfamily in 2012?

For example, perhaps you want to share your knowledge of SQL Server Audit. You might set a goal of speaking at 2-3 local events and perhaps writing 2-3 articles on the topic. Or, you could help your #sqlfamily by volunteering to help organize a local event. Or perhaps you will try to find 12 people (one per month) where you will write a recommendation for them on their LinkedIn profile, or maybe nominate them for the SQL MVP award.

The purpose of the post (besides helping you with your writing) is for you to think about all the different ways in which you can help contribute to the SQL Community, and to the #sqlfamily.

The post Meme Monday For January appeared first on Thomas LaRock.

What gift do you want Microsoft to leave for you under the tree this year?

I thought about weaving together some movie quotes using A Christmas Story, but then I remembered that I had already done that before.

I thought about asking for Buck Woody (on loan, or perhaps a lease program), but that is already on a wish list and I don’t think Buck can scale up enough to support more than one list.

I thought about complaining to Microsoft about, well, anything…but that was already done as well here, and here.

So then I thought that maybe I would just ask Microsoft to get all of the children of the world to join hands and sing but two things struck me about that. First, someone had already done exactly that and second that had the chance of coming across as some big ad for Coke, so I needed to think of something else.

So here’s my wish for a very merry Microsoft Christmas: as part of SQL2012 SP1, give me an option to enable SQL Clippy (no blog yet | @SQLClippy). Think about the benefits to your end users, the ones that keep making silly mistakes…at least this way you’ll have a chance to stop them before they press that button, right? Maybe not, but a guy can dream, can’t he? Just think of some of the helpful hints you could provide:

• I see that your db engine is 11 years old with no service packs. Would you like help install the SQL Slammer worm?
• I see your BI solution is returning numbers you don’t like. Would you like help fudging the numbers?
• I see you just dropped a table in production, would you like me to delete all logs of this, sp_HideEvidence
• This database is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
• RTFM

So many ways to help your end users with SQL Clippy. It’s a no-brainer. I’m thinking of starting a twibbon campaign, just to see how much support we can get.

Happy Holidays everyone.

The post A Very Merry Microsoft Christmas appeared first on Thomas LaRock.

What gift do you want Microsoft to leave for you under the tree this year?

Have some fun with this one. It could be a product (an Xbox), or a product feature (like keyboard shocks sent to developers who insist on using scalar functions).

I look forward to reading all of your posts. Don’t wait to be tagged, just start writing. And use the #mememonday hashtag on Twitter so everyone in the #SQLFamily can read your post.

The post Meme Monday for December appeared first on Thomas LaRock.

I first heard the term SQLFamily as a hashtag on Twitter during the PASS Summit last month. I thought it was brilliant, as it described so perfectly how I feel about my closest friends in the SQL Community. We are a family. We don’t always get along, we often fight and bicker with each other over the most inane and ridiculous things, and Mom always liked someone else better than me. At times I can see bitterness and actions that equate to a sibling rivalry. I see all the dysfunctions that most families have.

I also see such amazing things. I see people supporting each other when they (or a family member, like someones son) are ill. I see folks lending a hand to help someone up when they are down. I also see rivals unite, like brothers and sister would, when they are attacked by someone outside the family. We share information whenever possible, and not just information about technology. I’m talking about career information, as in “hey, if you know of someone looking for a job, call me because I’m looking to hire”. You know, just like how you would have Uncle Buck watch your children for a week because, well, he *is* family, right? Yeah, it’s like that.

I also see forgiveness, and lots of it. We aren’t perfect, no family is, and we know it. I can’t imagine where my career as a database professional would be right now if it were not for my SQLFamily. When people ask why I put so much effort into the Community the answer is simple: “I have to, they’re my family, and they taken good care of me before so now it’s my turn to help them.”

And that’s what SQL Family means to me. It means I am part of something much, much larger than I could possibly imagine, and that my role is to help a family member that needs help, no questions asked, even if they are my third cousin twice removed. And if I can’t help, I will make the effort to find someone that can.

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