This Is Not a Joke

No sir, this is serious. But if I may be so bold, could I ask just a handful of questions before I step back in time with you? Thanks.

First, why must I supply my own weapons?

Second, how far back are we going? Because that would be useful to know before picking out what weapons I should bring.

Third, when did you want to leave? Because it could take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks or even months to acquire the necessary weapons.

Fourth, are we going back in space as well as time? What if where we are standing used to be a mountain? Would we end up embedded into the rock somehow? Or in the middle (or bottom) of an ocean? What good would weapons do for us at that point?

Lastly, how much money are we talking about? Because I could use a little bit up front in order to buy those weapons.

back_in_time

13 thoughts on “This Is Not a Joke”

    • good question. i got the impression it was a first-come, first-served type deal. i also want to know how to dress. will it be cold, like ice age cold? or hot, like the-earth-is-still-forming hot? i don’t see how weapons would help or matter in either of those cases, so maybe he is just going back a few months to bet on a Super Bowl or something.

      but why should i fear for my safety? that just makes no sense. i should be able to blend in with other humans in whatever time period.

      if i were him, i would go back in time and open a bank account or buy stock or something, then zip to the future and collect my money, then come back to the present and live large.

      Reply
  1. Dress to impress that’s what I say.

    Bring your own weapons?

    Given that I am a Kung Fu-Ninjitsu-Jujitsui-Feng Shui Master does that mean I can be my own weapon?

    Nothing to fear here though right. This guy has done it all once before.

    Reply
    • good question. it only mentions time travel, not time AND space travel. speaking of which, how does he know enough to go back to a point in time where the Earth is in the same exact position around the Sun? It would seem that no matter what we need to travel through space and time anyway. and, of course, we all know that they are really the same thing and it is called spacetime, right?

      Reply
  2. You can blast your way out of the mountain with a rocket propelled grenade!

    Did you ever read the Ray Bradbury short story “The Sound of Thunder”? Great read if you want to think about the impact of actual time travel (with weapons, no less)…

    Reply
    • exactly! and i am sure there is a least a seven day waiting period for RPG’s. unless i go to a gun show / flea market, in which case i could probably pick something up pretty quickly. or i could go commando and drive a bulldozer through the front door of a gun shop. that always works.

      Reply
  3. You have to worry about more than getting the orbit right. The sun is also orbiting around galactic center, so you have to compensate for that, then, the galaxy is expanding, so that’s another bit of movement that’s going to cause some serious vacuum sucking if you’re off by a gazillanth of a percentage point.

    Oh, and which gun stores in the People’s Republic of Massachusetts are you aware of that have RPG’s for sale? I’m willing to go through the background check for two or three of those.

    Reply
  4. re: how fast you can run… you ever hear the one about outrunning a raptor? You don’t have to be faster than the raptor, just faster than the guy you’re running with…

    Reply

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