Top Ten Things That Didn't Happen in 2010

Every year at this time I see people writing articles that are reflections upon the events of the previous 12 months. I also see posts that are meant to be forward looking, such as setting goals for the upcoming year. I have even participated in such memes myself.

And I’m tired of them. Time for something slightly different this year. Instead of thinking about the things that did happen, or the things that might happen, I am going to focus on the shit stuff that didn’t happen in 2010.

Let’s go!

Space Shuttle Discovery Didn’t Launch

Probably the top story of the year for me in terms of something that didn’t happen. The launch delay did allow for me to get some extra family time at the Magic Kingdom, so there was a lot of upside to this non-event. But I have had dreams of watching a rocket launch ever since I was old enough to know about them, and outer space, and…well, that brings me to the next item…

No New Star Trek Movie

I grew up watching all kinds of science fiction. It’s in my blood. And we really needed to have a new movie in 2010 that would have erased all of the painful memories of the one they released in 2009. Don’t get me started on all of the things wrong with their “reboot” of the series, I could go on for days. I wish they would have done something in 2010 that would have at least told us that they recognized all of the silly plot holes in the first one. It’s as if J.J. Abrams doesn’t have any idea about what has already happened. Speaking of which…

No Explanation For Mr. Eko

So I settle down to watch the series finale for Lost and as time goes on I start to get the feeling that I won’t be seeing any reference to Mr. Eko, one of the most enigmatic characters of the entire series. It’s as if the writers completely forgot about him during the last season, despite the huge role he played during the show. In the final season we had lots of other characters of lesser importance come back into our view in order to have some kind of closure, but nothing for Mr. Eko? At first I was stunned, but then I remembered this was the guy responsible for the Star Trek reboot, where he seemed to forget four decades worth of story lines so it makes more sense to me now.

Still No Word On My Wire Transfer From That Man in Nigeria

Despite repeated attempts at contacting Mr. Yan in Nigeria I have yet to see any of the funds he promised to deposit to my account once I gave him the routing numbers. I even offered to travel to Nigeria myself in order to help him get the money across the border along with his family. I am starting to lose faith here and suspect that this will also be on my list of things that didn’t happen in 2011.

I Still Don’t Have an iPad

It’s shiny. It’s from Apple. Of course I want it. I’m surprised Apple hasn’t started making cars and homes yet, they would corner the market on everything. Can you imagine an iSink, or iStove, or iCar? I sure can. Well, I can imagine other people having them, because apparently I don’t ever bother with the first release of anything and the iPad keeps my streak intact despite three bloggers giving away 30 total iPads. How could I not win one of those? Because I didn’t enter in time. Idiot.

I Did Not Earn the MCM

I did try to earn it, but won’t get my official results back for another one or two weeks. Let’s move on.

My Book Was Not Featured on Oprah

My book, DBA Survivor, was published in March and the immediate feedback from those closest to me at my former job was that the book was a “distraction”. I couldn’t be prouder. Unfortunately Oprah is not returning any of my calls or emails. I’m not sure how best to get on her show at this point, I was kinda hoping the book would be enough to put me over the top there. At the very least she could give me an iCar, right?

I Did Not Stay Employed The Entire Year

It’s true, after having a job for over nine straight years I took some time off this year. Two full days of time as I resigned from the company-that-shall-not-be-named effective on a Friday and was whisked away to New Orleans to be put on display at TechEd on Monday morning by Confio Software (who is happy to tell people I work for them despite my writing such lousy blog posts as this one).

I Did Not Complete the NYC Marathon

I had my entry all set up and started the training but…well…life takes strange turns. For example, when I ran the Marathon in 2006, the PASS Summit was not starting the day after (it was a week or two later). There was no way for me to run the marathon and properly attend the PASS Summit in 2010, it was going to be a lot to ask of my friends and family. Not just for the days in and around the race, but for the months of training leading up to the race as well. I had also just changed jobs, which meant a different work routine, which meant a different workout routine. I am still trying to find ways to adjust to it all and hope to do better in the future.

Still No Flying Cars

It’s going to be 2011 in a few days, where the hell are the flying cars?

Dammit people, that commercial is over ten years old! We need to demand our flying cars now! Get Steve Jobs on the phone!

There you go, the top things that didn’t happen to me in 2010. See you next year.