What I Wish I had Known When I Started

I was tagged today by Brent Ozar today, who asked my to blog about things I wish I had known when I started. It looks like the original question is “things I wish I had known as a Junior DBA that I know now.” I will put my own spin on this and include items that I wish I had known when I was a Junior Superhero/Crimefighter/DBA. You’re welcome.

An extra 30 pounds could make my tights unusable

Does that really need an explanation?

Being right all the time will only piss people off, no matter how you present the information

Seriously. I like to think that I am open to new ideas and that I am smart enough to know there are things I don’t know that I don’t even know. But, when having discussions with people and they ask “what do you think is best”, and then you tell them what is best, or recommended, and present facts to back up your argument, it can rub people the wrong way over time. It’s like playing checkers with your five year old. If you never let them win, or come close to winning, they will not want to play with you. So, when people ask your opinion you may want to make sure you have all the facts possible before you tell them your thoughts. Otherwise you end up in a long discussion to nowhere and over time you may find yourself invited to fewer meetings. (wait, what?) Anyway, if I want to connect, learn, and share, then i need people to want to connect to me as well.

Chicks dig cars

I drive the Batmobile. How you doin’?

Rebuilding master does not require two pounds of bacon

See my first point about the extra thirty pounds. I am still wondering who put that item about bacon into the BOL.

The Power of Community

Actually, I did kinda sorta knew about this when I was first given the DBA title. Well, I knew it would be good to head to PASS in order to meet other DBAs if, for no other reason, because I needed to vent some of my frustrations with others. What I found is that I was the dumbest guy in the room, and everyone else had the same problems. Fortunately I was able to latch (leech?) onto two very special people in Pat Wright and Allen Kinsel, and I slowly built up my network from there. The general SQL community has been the best thing for me professionally, and I wish I had been involved in it sooner, before my job title said ‘DBA’.

No One Knows Everything

I remember one of the first things that kicked my ass. I had to troubleshoot why a DTS package would suddenly fail. I had no idea. I Googled. I worked with Microsoft for a few hours. And I had people standing in my cube watching me work while I struggled with what was happening. Most of the time they would walk in and out and say things like “I don’t think he knows what he is doing”. And I believed them because I thought DBA’s were supposed to know everything about anything that says SQL. Yes, I am that stupid. And no, I never was given any props for spending the extra time working on the issue because…

No One Knows What You Do, Or When You Are Working Harder Than Usual

I am typically available 24×7 for the most part. In the past year the only time I have not been available was when I was on a cruise and they wouldn’t let those guys from the Verizon network board the ship and walk around saying “can you hear me now?” So, if you have a family, and you live ninety minutes away, and it is 8:00PM and you are still working on some obscure issue, all your customer wants is an ETA when the problem will be fixed. God forbid they find out you were driving home and not working on their problem. Or that you didn’t answer the phone because you had to perform some basic biological functions. In short, what we do is mysterious (I like to say Mythical), and if people see you knocking yourself out all the time, then they expect you to knock yourself out all the time. So, set the bar low when you start, because it is easier to go higher. If you start high, you have nowhere to go but down.

Chief O’Hara Should Be Downsized

The guy has no function other than to stand in the Commissioner’s office and hold the cake dish lid while the Commissioner pushes the button on the Bat Phone. Oh, I suppose he does have one responsibility, he has to speak with a fake Irish accent, because, you know, all cops are Irish. Well, perhaps only cops in supervisory roles are Irish, I don’t know. But in all my years of working the Gotham streets I have never seen the Chief do anything remotely close to actual police work.

If Everyone Follows Best Practices Then We Are All Average

Do I really need to say more? Best practices are meant as a guide, not more, not less. They are the result of feedback from real world environments are are not always going to be what is best for your shop. Do not be afraid to stand up and architect a solution that makes sense for your business at this time and for the future. If you limit your vision to only what is documented as a best practice, then you are always going to be chasing someone else.

The best way I can explain this goes back to my days as a coach. When you are a young coach you get to learn a lot about how other coaches run their programs. You never wanted to pick one coach and try to be just like that coach, because you would always come up short in any comparison and always be chasing that coach. So, you take a piece of one coach, a piece of another, and some of yourself and develop your own style. That is one of the secrets to success. Look at Duke’s Coach K. He took parts of three mentors and fused it with his own personality to become one of the top basketball coaches in the history of the game. And I hate Duke, so that sentence was painful to write, but it’s the truth.

Connect. Learn. Share.

Yep. To all junior DBAs out there, those three words are the key. Follow them and you will be fine.

Ok, so I need to tag someone else now? I think everyone in my network has been tagged, and I doubt anyone is reading this, so I will skip the tags this time because it is late and I need my rest before Chief O’Hara calls because he needs me to find him a bottle of whiskey (again).