Earlier this year I was honored to be asked to present at the SQL Inspire event that took place on November 12th, 2011 in New York City.

My talk was titled “SQL Someday”, and was based on this quote (which is not mine, it was something I had stumbled upon the day or two before I submitted my abstract for the event):

There are seven days in the week and someday isn’t one of them.

I thought how great that was. It really spoke to me, made me realize how I needed to stop living for “someday”, and get up and take action on things now. I started thinking about all of the things I had told myself would happen “someday”. And being a database professional and lover of all things set-based, I noticed something interesting about my somedays: I could categorize them.

So I put all of my somedays into three groups. I found that there were somedays that were mostly controlled by others, somedays that were mostly controlled by me (and my selfish wants), and then somedays that were more about others (and less about my wants and desires).

I also noticed that these groups had a loose correlation to my career and therefore to my life in general. And then I noticed something else about my somedays, something that wasn’t all that uplifting: many of them were never going to happen.

Not exactly the kind of thing you want to tell a crowd of people at an event with the word “Inspire” in the title, huh? But I pressed onward, built my slides, and eventually delivered my talk. When it was over I realized I needed to give a little more structure to the words that had come out of my mouth that day. Thus the reason for this page. It is here that I want to help others to identify their somedays as well by providing you with a general method.

So here you go, my way of helping you figure out where your “somedays” actually lie. You’re welcome.

The Somedays That Will Never Happen

These are the wishes and wants you have that are far outside of your control. For example: hoping that someday you will get that promotion. You can work your ass off and still not be recognized for your efforts in the manner as to which you want. It is quite possible that you do your job so well that you aren’t allowed to leave your role because nobody else could possible do the job as well!

If you look at your somedays you will likely see many of them that are controlled by others. You can’t force how others are going to treat you. No matter who you are, or how you treat others, you cannot control how they will treat you. If your someday lies outside of your control, in the hands of others, stop wishing for it to happen and move on with your life.

The Somedays That Have Already Happened

These are the ones that you had more control over and have likely happened already but you either (1) didn’t notice it at the time or (2) were so driven for success that when your someday happened you were already onto the next thing. For example, a new car is something you might have as a someday goal, and is more in your control to make it a reality. But many people get the new car and are then already thinking about the next car, or a second car.

And, of course, many people also forget that a new car was even a someday to start with. Chances are you can look back and think about all of the somedays you have already accomplished, but forgotten. Things like a diploma, a job, a car, a house, a family, etc. They were all a someday at one point.

The Somedays That May Still Happen

This was a group of somedays I found that had less to do with my selfish wants and desires (such as a new car) and more about others around me. They weren’t necessarily controlled by others entirely, because I cannot control how others feel, but they were working in coordination with others somehow. In my talk I mention walking my daughter down the aisle someday. That day is not my day, it is her day, and I have but a role to play when the time comes.

These are the somedays that tease us. When they happen, we start to believe that all somedays are possible. The reality is that the first group, the ones controlled by others, are likely to never happen. And yet we all get sucked in believing that they will. You can live your whole life waiting for someday, but that doesn’t mean you should.

This group also contains the somedays that were just entirely within my control. For example, I could learn to speak Spanish if I had the self-discipline to dedicate the time. So, that is a someday that may still happen, it isn’t controlled by others, but still may be more about yourself.  But as I get older I have fewer of these wants and desires and find I have more somedays that are about others. And maybe that is just me, or a result of getting older, I really don’t know.

Lastly, my method is not scientific. Please, no wagering!

Also, here is the video from the event.

 

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14 Comments

  1. SQL Someday Talk | SQLRockstar | Thomas LaRock
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 15:18:46

    [...] enjoy the talk, it took me a lifetime to create. You can read more about SQL Someday over at the SQL Someday page. I plan on adding to that page over time. __spr_config = { pid: '4ef2348c396cef53f800004f', [...]

    Reply

  2. Mike Fal
    Jan 17, 2012 @ 14:11:00

    Tom, great post and video.  I love how you stress the importance of keeping “the job” in perspective with the rest of your life.  Please keep preaching this message, more people need to hear it.

    Reply

  3. Reflections of Someday | SQLRockstar | Thomas LaRock
    Feb 15, 2012 @ 10:01:06

    [...] Where I was, where I am, and where I want to be heading. I needed to remind myself about all the somedays that have already happened, and the ones that will never happen…and the ones that will [...]

    Reply

  4. This Blog Post Shows I Stopped Caring | SQLRockstar | Thomas LaRock
    Jun 22, 2012 @ 11:35:10

    [...] I got tired of being told my blog “didn’t fit” with the other blogs. I grew weary of having folks tell me that my blog wasn’t technical enough for their liking, or they didn’t like my sense of snark, or whatever else they wanted to dump on me. So I decided to stop waiting for their approval to come through someday. [...]

    Reply

  5. John Sterrett
    May 08, 2013 @ 22:18:00

    Tom,

    This is one of my all time favorite videos in the SQL Community. I watch it quite a bit and also recommend it to a lot of DBA’s I work with.

    Regards,
    John

    Reply

    • ThomasLaRock
      May 08, 2013 @ 22:20:00

      Thanks John, it took me a lifetime to put together…

      Reply

  6. BillSchoonmaker
    May 09, 2013 @ 11:46:00

    Thank you so much for this. It made me think about a lot while I was watching it. You’re right, we are all so much alike and have gone through a lot of the same things. I hope it helps us to relate to each other and not be as competitive but help each other out.

    Reply

    • ThomasLaRock
      May 09, 2013 @ 20:08:00

      Thanks Bill, glad you enjoyed the talk.

      Reply

  7. They Only Remember The "No" - SQLRockstar - Thomas LaRock
    May 20, 2013 @ 09:04:45

    [...] touched upon this in my Someday talk. People never stop to think about all the Somedays that they have already accomplished. They tend [...]

    Reply

  8. Where the Sidewalk....Leads - SQLRockstar - Thomas LaRock
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 16:56:35

    […] sidewalk across the street from us but the rumor was that sidewalks were going to be built “someday“. Sure enough the one on our street was built a few years later and more have been […]

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  9. Google Makes Us Dumb. You Won't Believe What Happens Next - SQLRockstar - Thomas LaRock
    Jul 07, 2014 @ 20:32:17

    […] but I don’t bother much anymore. I would much rather produce something of quality (and Someday™ I hope I do), and let that draw people in instead of tricks and gimmicks. In other words, I want […]

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  10. HOW TO: Know What That Installer Did to Your Database - SQL Server - SQL Server - Toad World
    Aug 11, 2014 @ 18:46:03

    […] I would want to look for any new objects created inside of master, model, and msdb. You don’t want changes being made to your system databases without you knowing why and when they happened. Thinking about this a bit more I should probably also check the model database properties, too. Maybe I’ll add that in as a v2 for this script…someday. […]

    Reply

  11. HOW TO: Know What That Installer Did to Your Database - SQLRockstar - Thomas LaRock
    Aug 12, 2014 @ 19:00:29

    […] I would want to look for any new objects created inside of master, model, and msdb. You don’t want changes being made to your system databases without you knowing why and when they happened. Thinking about this a bit more I should probably also check the model database properties, too. Maybe I’ll add that in as a v2 for this script…someday. […]

    Reply

  12. 4 things I wish I learned sooner as a DBA | JohnSterrett.com
    Sep 03, 2014 @ 09:43:54

    […] of my mentors and friends Thomas LaRock gave a presentation a few years ago titled SQL Someday.  I still watch Tom’s presentation  occasionally to remind me of this very simple […]

    Reply

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