Latest Email Scam

Normally I do not spend any time on this blog talking about all the email scams that get sent my way, no matter how interesting they may appear. But I wanted to mention one email that came my way yesterday. It was trapped by our corporate spam filter, and I did not see it until this morning. But I knew it was a scam right away from the subject line:

“Congratulations 2009 Microsoft MVP!”

I think I have spent enough time documenting all the reasons why I would never be an MVP. Plus, this email was sent out on April 1st, so I was fairly certain someone was either having a joke at my expense or looking for some bank account numbers. Now, I would never recommend clicking on links inside of scam emails like this one, but every now and then I like to play the game. For example, one time I had a running dialogue with a person in Nigeria, whom I believe was waiting for me outside a hotel one day. Well, I think so because the last email I got from him he said he was disappointed I was not able to show up at the agreed upon time. Oh well, I hope I can meet Mr. Yan in Taiwan later this month, he seems to have a deal that is too good to be true.

So, I clicked on the link to the website they provided. Now, unlike most email scams, the link they provided actually matched what went into the browser. My first thought was “wow, they are slick, they set up their own domain and website instead of trying to trick me into thinking I was going to some bank account which I don’t have anyway but would naturally always be concerned about.” Next I noticed that they provided me with a login number and a password, as opposed to asking me to input credentials. Again, that is a nice touch, but I knew it was all taking me somewhere.

I was then prompted to input some very personal information. They wanted my mailing address. They asked for an email address. They asked for a phone number. They asked me to join something called “Connect”, which I can only assume is a place for my information to be stored so that other scam artists can find the easy fish. They told me to read about their Code of Conduct, which apparently doesn’t apply to everyone, which is good to know…maybe…not sure.

So I completed all of the information they requested of me. They even want me to supply them a photo. I am guessing this will make it easier for them to spot me in a crowd or to hunt me down and hold me for ransom, probably looking for my weight in bacon. I am going to use this photo which for some odd reason Quest did not want to use in a recent ad:

I figured this was the photo that probably brought me to their attention to begin with. Either that or the tramp stamp I got at PASS last year. Honestly, did they really think I would fall for this, and believe that I could actually be a SQL MVP?

I doubt Microsoft wants my opinion on their product. I would more than likely keep insisting they work bacon into the product in some way, either by word or smell. And since when did my opinions matter anyway? Everyone knows I am a foul-mouthed blogger who fantasizes about wearing capes, eating bacon, and drinking Jaeger from the tap.

As it stands today the MVP program is a wonderful way for Microsoft to interact with its customers directly. It is a great way to get feedback directly from the users, much more effective than a survey would ever be. I take part in a customer advisory board for Quest Software and I enjoy helping Quest build better products. I would enjoy helping anyone build better products, and the opportunity to help Microsoft seems like it will be worthwhile. But let’s not confuse membership in the MVP program with actual database administration or technical skills. It is far from that. It is about helping your community. And from an outside view, the method for selection seems quite flawed. I am the prime example, and I hope to be able to make the process better.

Then again, perhaps I do have enough MVP-ness. Buckle up.

UPDATE: Apparently this is no joke, I am an actual Microsoft SQL Server MVP. I am trying to find out just how many Microsoft Points this award is worth but none of the introductory materials mentions anything about Microsoft Points, or global currency, or any type of cabal. It is as if I was wrong about the whole thing. Or perhaps they are doing their best to keep it covered up. You know, keep your friends close type thing. Then again, maybe I already have the details but I am not allowed to tell you because I have already signed the eNDA which is like a real NDA except you type your name…oops…I think I have said too much already.