Coffee Perceptions

I’ve written before about the idea of parallax with regards to your career. But parallax, or perceptions, can be applied to anything. Just for fun, let’s think about the different perceptions we can have regarding a cup of coffee.

The classic perception, of course, would be “do you see the cup as half-full or half-empty”. But I really don’t care which one is correct, as long as I know I can get up and get more as needed. And, of course, we all know that you can have your coffee fast, good, and cheap as long as you only pick two of those three options.

So, let’s break coffee down by some job functions. You’re welcome.

The Engineer in me says the cup completely full: 1/2 liquid & 1/2 gas.

The Developer in me says that the coffee tastes better if you let me make it myself.

The Mathematician in me proves that this cup of coffee is unique at this point in time.

The Manager in me says to ensure I have someone to bring me my coffee when I need some, and then to tell them to “try harder” after it arrives.

The Consultant in me says that I need to tell people how to bring me coffee, and to somehow make them think it’s their idea to bring it to me.

The Data Architect in me sees 27 tiny shots of coffee.

The Salesman in me says to tell you how great the coffee is going to be.

The Parent in me worries how anything over half full will get spilled.

The Pointy Haired Boss (PHB) in me asks “how much longer before I get my coffee?” followed by “why isn’t it mauve?”

The Intern in me says to get it your damn self.

The Human Resources (HR) in me says we need to 360 the coffee choices. After the 360 is complete the employee in me understands that I can find better coffee elsewhere.

The Database Administrator in me details five different possible reasons why we won’t have any coffee anytime soon.

Lastly, I will leave you with this video, that details the greatest addiction in the world: Coffee.