Hold On Tight To Your Dreams

“Hold on tight to your dreams” – Jeff Lynne

Earlier this month I heard about a gourmet hamburger served at a restaurant in California. I heard about it through a few dozen tweets, direct messages, emails, and texts from friends and acquaintances. I think I may have the world’s only advance warning system for bacon products. This burger was special because it was made entirely from ground bacon.

You read that right.

100% ground bacon.

No beef. Just bacon. Topped with more bacon, some type of bacon mayonnaise, and bacon cheddar cheese. The only thing without bacon was the brioche bun (something I believe they should remedy when they do this burger again).

As fate would have it I was heading to California on business a week later. I made note of the fact that I was going to be in Anaheim and it just so happened that this burger was being served at Slaters 50/50 Burgers by Design in Anaheim Hills (you can follow them on Twitter at @slaters5050, tell them I sent you).

Clearly I was destined to have this burger. If I am ever to become “one with the bacon”, this was going to be the first step. I felt ready, as if I had been preparing for this moment my whole life.

I contacted an old friend of mine to meet me at Slaters. We haven’t seen each other in years. One of his first comments is “I’ve never been to this place before!” Apparently he thinks I frequently fly 2,700 miles for an all-bacon burger, I don’t know. I pointed out that I’m not exactly local to Anaheim Hills myself and we head in to what is most likely a way-station to Hog Heaven.

One thing I admired right away was how Slaters posts their menu to the wall for everyone to see, making it easier for folks to understand what is being served:

Ordering at Slaters is easy, you fill out a slip of paper and check off what you want. I did my best to check off everything that I had heard about the all-bacon burger and decided to have a full pound because why the hell not?

I decided against the peanut butter and jelly option this time around and just wanted to have the burger topped with more bacon, of course:

I then explained to the bartender what I was trying to do and he nonchalantly pulled one of those flip-menus things that was about two feet from my face and it displayed the creation that I had come for. He laughed at me a bit, and then I laughed. I told him “yes, please”, and then the countdown began.

When it arrived I did what most everyone else does in that situation: I took a picture with Francis standing nearby. I think Francis was even happier than I was to see such a glorious creation.

After more pictures (including one my buddy took of me taking a photo of Francis, look for it in the bonus features when I write the “Making of the Hold On Tight To Your Dreams ” blog post), I decided to get a photo of the center. So I cut it open and snapped this picture. Yes, that is an egg between the bacon cheddar cheese and the bacon mayonnaise.

I then unhinged my jaw and took my first bite which my friend recorded for my medical records (like Dalton once said, “it saves time”):

It was amazing.

Know why I firmly grabbed that burger with two hands? The answer is simple:

Hold on tight to your dreams!