A Very Merry Microsoft Christmas

Today is the first Monday of the month, which means it is Meme Monday! The meme for this month was the following:

What gift do you want Microsoft to leave for you under the tree this year?

I thought about weaving together some movie quotes using A Christmas Story, but then I remembered that I had already done that before.

I thought about asking for Buck Woody (on loan, or perhaps a lease program), but that is already on a wish list and I don’t think Buck can scale up enough to support more than one list.

I thought about complaining to Microsoft about, well, anything…but that was already done as well here, and here.

So then I thought that maybe I would just ask Microsoft to get all of the children of the world to join hands and sing but two things struck me about that. First, someone had already done exactly that and second that had the chance of coming across as some big ad for Coke, so I needed to think of something else.

So here’s my wish for a very merry Microsoft Christmas: as part of SQL2012 SP1, give me an option to enable SQL Clippy (no blog yet | @SQLClippy). Think about the benefits to your end users, the ones that keep making silly mistakes…at least this way you’ll have a chance to stop them before they press that button, right? Maybe not, but a guy can dream, can’t he? Just think of some of the helpful hints you could provide:

• I see that your db engine is 11 years old with no service packs. Would you like help install the SQL Slammer worm?
• I see your BI solution is returning numbers you don’t like. Would you like help fudging the numbers?
• I see you just dropped a table in production, would you like me to delete all logs of this, sp_HideEvidence
• This database is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
• RTFM

So many ways to help your end users with SQL Clippy. It’s a no-brainer. I’m thinking of starting a twibbon campaign, just to see how much support we can get.

Happy Holidays everyone.