Dan Jones Is Helpless

That’s right, Dan Jones needs our help. Without our help, he is helpless. And after all the abuse that myself and many, many, many other SQL MVPs have given Dan and his team over the years I felt the least I could do was to give him some help. Wait a minute…actually, the least I could do is to do nothing. Yeah, that would have been much easier. Oh well, too late now, I guess I’ll just finish this post and then use some deep fried bacon on a stick to forget that this ever happened.

“In support of our commitment to deliver features which provide the greatest value to our customers the Microsoft SQL Server team is requesting your participation in a project to collect configuration data on production SQL Server instances and user databases. The data gathered from this exercise will be used in the planning and development of future SQL Server features…”

Wait a minute…did Dan just say that *we* have the chance to help influence the way that certain aspects of SQL Server would be developed? How is that even possible. I ask you again, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? Does Dan really expect me to believe that anything I say would matter? Hey, Dan, I am not as dumb as I look, I swear! OK, let’s let Dan continue.

“The study requires running a Transact-SQL script against instances hosting database supporting Business Critical and/or Departmental Applications. Mission Critical applications, e.g. CRM, ERP, etc., are out of scope for this study. We understand that running any a script against a production instance requires trust and an understanding of what the script is collecting and reporting. We have taken every precaution to ensure no user data or customer/application identifiable information, e.g. object names, is captured. Our goal is to be fully transparent with this respect. The profiling script is a Transact-SQL script that will run against the instance and user databases on the instance collecting configuration information and schema statistics on user databases. The script and the resulting output file are standard text files which can be inspected using standard tools.

In addition to profiling instances and user databases, participants will be asked to fill out a short survey with questions about the company and the SQL Server environment. While this survey asks for company identifiable information, each participant may elect to be treated anonymously.

The expected time to complete the survey is 10 minutes. The time to execute the profiling script is largely dependent upon the size of the participant’s environment. In addition the time to inspect the script and corresponding output is solely dependent upon the participant’s knowledge of the technology (Transact-SQL) and any internal approval process required to run external tools against production environments. However, our expectation is the process should require minimal time commitment.

If you select to participate a teleconference will be scheduled with a member of the SQL Server product team to discuss the project with you and answer your questions. You will also be sent a participation package which contains a detailed description of the research project, the customer survey, the profiling script, instructions for returning results to Microsoft, and information on who to contact for questions and help. If you are interested in participating in this study or wish to learn more about participating contact Dan Jones @ dan.jones@microsoft.com. Please use the following subject line “DB Profile Project”. We look forward to your participation in this study and your help in ensuring we build features with the greatest customer value.”

OK, there you go, give Dan some help. In a way it is as if you are helping yourselves. I know Dan and I trust him that the information you provide will, in fact, help Microsoft to make a better product.