The 24 HOP Strikes Back

This Wednesday, May 19th, PASS will be hosting their second 24 Hours of PASS event. The first event last September was quite successful. So successful, in fact, that when PASS decided to do it again my first thought was about how difficult it is for sequels to be as successful as the original. For example, the list of movie failures is quite long and includes Porky’s II: The Next Day, Teen Wolf Too, Speed 2 Cruise Control, Weekend At Bernie’s II, and Breakin’ 2 Electric Boogaloo. I’ll never get those hours of my life back, nor will anyone else for that matter.

Fortunately we have something that all of those movies were lacking: a reason to watch. With SQL Server 2008 R2 having been recently launched we were able to structure our event to include a heapin’ helpin’ of R2 along with sessions on SQL 2008, Episode 10. And with the early reviews of R2 just starting to come in, I am looking forward to attending as many sessions as possible, especially the R2 sessions.

With all that in mind, I am going to use quotes from Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back to give you a preview of what is to come this Wednesday. Empire is one of the most successful movies of all time, and is one of those rare sequels to be even more successful than the original, which only seems fitting right now.

“Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder! [pause] Who’s scruffy-looking?”

This quote reminds me about the comments I received regarding my beard growth during the event last year when I attended all 24 sessions and broadcast myself on UStream. I will be broadcasting myself again this time, but I am not guaranteeing that I will be attending all the sessions due to the start and end time being at 8AM for me and the fact that I need to be at work the next day, otherwise I would have to take two vacation days for the event. I love PASS and all, but I love taking vacations with my family as well.

“Control, control, you must learn control!”

Have you heard about the new feature in R2 called the Utility Control Point? Do you want to hear about this new feature? Then you will want to register for Glenn Berry’s session. Glenn is an expert in this area and was one of the first people to contact me to tell me that Microsoft was going to be updating the UCP in the near future to allow for monitoring SQL 2008 instances that have had SP2 applied. When Glenn contacted me I felt like I was in on a secret, similar to when the name of this movie was leaked over thirty years ago. I remember telling my friends that I knew the name to the movie and how excited we all were and…OK, I’ll stop now, because I have learned control.

“All right, I’ll give it a try…  No! Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.”

This is for all of the people and all of the effort it takes in order for this event to run smoothly. There are 24 presenters, there are 24 hosts for those presenters, and there are four event coordinators that help to oversee the sessions as well. That’s over fifty people and we haven’t even talked about the people behind the scenes involved in marketing and community coordination. Last year my role in this event was to show up and smile for the camera. This year I was asked to take on more responsibilities and my first thought was “I’ll try.” As the quote suggests, there is no try, it really is do…or do not.

“What is thy bidding, my master?”

Who else would this quote be for but Brent Ozar, MCM? No one, that’s who. Brent is presenting a session titled “Blitz! 60 Minute Server Takeovers“, where he will tell you what to do when someone dumps a server in your lap that you never knew existed, kinda like when some hologram of an old man shows up and tells you that your son is still alive and is coming to kill the both of you.

“Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1. Never tell me the odds.“

This is how I feel when it comes to navigating the field of Master Data Management. It seems so overwhelming, like having a thousand pieces of rock flying at you from all directions. Fortunately we have our own Rushabh Mehta to help us navigate through the Master Data Services feature of SQL Server 2008 R2. And just how awesome is Indiana Jones that he can kick ass in two different galaxies in two different time periods?

“Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well.”

If you are looking for something impressive you need only to examine the sessions list. Check out the names. Read the session titles. Pick any session to attend, set aside an hour of your time, and when it is done you will feel as if Obi-Wan himself has taught you something, and taught you well.

“If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.  He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him!  No. *I* am your father. No. No. That’s not true. That’s impossible!”

The movie’s signature moment is reserved for our signature format: 24 continuous sessions, broadcast live, with 24 different speakers located throughout the globe. Impossible? Not as impossible as finding out your father is Darth Vader, that you have a twin sister, or that 30 years of bloodshed is going to be brought to an end by a band of muppets named Ewoks. Seriously, how could the Emperor not see that coming? Where’s the “power of the dark side” when you need it?

“Sir, rebel ships are coming into our sector.  Good, our first catch of the day.”

The first catch of our day will be “Introduction to PowerPivot” by Brian Knight. I was very excited to be able to secure Brian in the lead off spot for this event particularly when he told me he wanted to speak on PowerPivot, an instrumental piece to the entire SQL 2008 R2 launch. How excited? About as excited as I was to join the Bacon of the Month club.

“Lord Vader, the fleet has moved out of lightspeed and we’re preparing to… [Ozzel stops, and suddenly begins to choke, clutching at his throat] You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. Captain Piett? Yes, my lord? Make ready to land our troops beyond their energy field, and deploy the fleet, so that nothing gets off the system. [beside Piett, Admiral Ozzel utters one last strangled gasp, and falls over dead] You are in command now, Admiral Piett. Thank you, Lord Vader. “

There is nothing quite like a battlefield promotion, and Lord Vader shows us one way to get the job done here. Many of us, myself included, became a DBA by similar circumstances; there was a vacancy that we were asked to fill. I often hear people refer to us as “involuntary” or “accidental” DBAs, kinda how Admiral Piett took over that Star Destroyer. I have no idea if Admiral Piett was able to get 24 hours of free training on how to operate that Star Destroyer, but I do know where to go for free training for SQL Server.

I hope that you will be able to take part in this wonderful event this Wednesday and Thursday. See you there!