PASS Summit Preview

I love movies. I also love popcorn, but I am not sure if that is related. Anyway, I have been a movie buff for years. I do not get to watch as much these days as I would like, but I expect I can get caught up on any I have been missing. The other day I found myself watching Big Trouble In Little China, reciting almost every line in the movie, and thinking about how they were applicable to the upcoming PASS Summit. Not sure how I made the connection, except that I am getting excited about attending PASS next week.

BTLC was directed by John Carpenter over twenty years ago. That guy was the Tiger Woods of cult classics between 1978 and 1988. It also helped that he teamed up with Kurt Russell for a handful of those movies. Did you know he directed Halloween, Escape From New York, and did a remake of The Thing in a four year span? The guy was on top of his game at the time and anything he touched turned to gold.

BTLC is still enjoyable to watch, over twenty years later. Part of the enjoyment is seeing actors that you recognize from other roles in the time since the movie was made.

So, here are some quotes and why they made me think it was perfect to write about a preview for the upcoming PASS Summit. You can search YouTube for more than a handful of clips if you want to relive some old times.

“This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I’m talkin’ to whoever’s listenin’ out there.”

The movie opens with Kurt Russel driving his truck through the rain and talking on his CB to, well, whomever. It quickly sets the tone for his character and the rest of the movie. To this day I simply cannot imagine anyone else in this role.

This line makes me think of the Welcome Reception, specifically the Quiz Bowl hosted by Tim Ford (blog | twitter) each year. Tim takes the stage and starts talking to whomever wants to listen. Just like Kurt starring as Jack Burton, I cannot imagine anyone else hosting the Quiz Bowl than Tim. I have been lucky enough to be in the audience as well as on stage (I won an iPod in Grapevine) and I also am familiar with how much effort Tim and Louis Davidson (blog | twitter) put into the show each year. I am still lobbying for a version of “SQL Match Game” to be played one of these years, complete with funky 70’s guitar riffs.

“Finally, we shall bring order out of chaos!”

There is an amazing amount of work done behind the scenes in order to bring the Summit to fruition. This past year I have been privy to a lot of the finer details as to what it takes to get a conference of this size up and running. For the better part of the year it can seem to many as if it is a chaotic experience, to say the least. But in the last two weeks you get to witness how there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that everything is going to go smoothly during the actual event. Well, it seems that way, at least.

“Somebody, I don’t care who, tell me, what is going on!”

This line goes out to the ambassadors, a handful of volunteers who put on Wal-Mart vests and stand in the middle of the hallway to help direct people. Need to know what sessions are happening now? Ask an ambassador. Need to know where a specific session is taking place? Ask an ambassador. Need to know where to find the Exhibit Hall, or lunch? Ask an ambassador.

“There are many mysteries, many unanswerable questions, even in a life as short as yours.”

The content in the sessions at PASS is top shelf, as are the presenters. You will find yourself sitting in a session, learning something new, and wondering to yourself things like “How can I apply this in my shop?”, or “I wonder if we have this same problem in my shop right now?” You will also have the opportunity to ask questions of some of the best SQL minds on the planet. You can ask them about something that has been driving you crazy for months and usually get some feedback on how to go about solving your issue.

[walking outside in the rain] “A brave man likes the feel of nature on his face, Jack. Yeah, and a wise man has enough sense to get in out of the rain!”

It’s November. In Seattle. Do I need to draw you a picture? One time there was a vendor that gave away mini umbrellas. Have no fear, though, you can do quite a bit without getting very wet. In most cases, it is just a light mist or drizzle, and not a downpour or even steady rain. Still, you get to decide for yourself if you want to be brave or wise.

“This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang.”

My week is packed full of events and sessions. I am double booked more than a few times. I will often find myself in the middle of a session and will suddenly remember I was supposed to be somewhere else. At night there is usually a handful of events to attend and I try my best to make an appearance at as many as possible. It all comes down to organizational skills and crackerjack timing.

“We may be trapped.”

The content at PASS is fantastic and often times your have to choose between two (or more) sessions to attend. Sometimes you think to yourself “Hey, I can attend the start of one session and the end of another.” So, you head over to one session and grab the only seat you can find. Unfortunately it is a seat at the end of the aisle, against the wall, in the middle of the room. And if you want to get up then you are going to disturb everyone around you as well as the speaker. Yeah, you can feel trapped. But don’t worry, you can get all the content later on by ordering one of the DVD’s.

“Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine, because I can’t concentrate when you do that.”

This is exactly how you feel when you are in a packed session. You have little room to move and will be very close to your neighbor. Chances of using your laptop effectively? Almost impossible. Even if you have the elbow room, you most likely don’t have any power. Bring a pen and some paper to take notes. And some breath mints. You’re welcome.

“Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn… call the president.”

There is always something to do at night during the Summit. Some of the events are PASS events, some are vendor events, and some are just you heading out with some friends. Seattle is a safe city, you should feel comfortable walking around even at night. But it would never be a bad idea to have a buddy system no matter what your destination. And if your buddy can sing karaoke, even better.

[tapping on the walls] “Two, three feet thick, I’ll bet. Probably welded shut from the outside, and covered with brick by now. Don’t give up, Jack! Oh, okay, I won’t, Wang! Let’s just *chew* our way outta here!”

This exchange is dedicated to the food at PASS. From the hot lunches and great table conversation to the cookies at snack time. About the only thing I could wish for would be more bacon. I may pack my own for the trip. With the food comes the conversations with other professionals during lunch. I look forward to having lunch (and breakfast) with as many different people as possible this year.

“This is just so shocking. I mean I must just be so monumentally naive.”

That is how a lot of people feel about session materials when they are unfamiliar with the topic being discussed. It can be overwhelming to sit in on a session, finding it hard to follow the speaker, and thinking that you are the only one in the room that doesn’t “get it”. You will be harder on yourself than you will be on the speaker, and you will more than likely be apprehensive to ask any stranger next to you “hey, buddy, do you have any idea what is going on here?” Or it could be the case that you are being taught something so well that you sit there in stunned silence wondering if you can quickly contact people back at your shop to warn them about a potential issue of which you were just made aware.

“And now, my beloved disciples. The moment of truth… the needle of love.”

This line made me think about all the tattoo parlors in Seattle. It also makes me think about how last year I promised to get a tattoo if I was elected to the PASS Board of Directors. I wasn’t, and therefore I left Seattle sans ink. And since the elections ended early this year I was not tricked into making a similar promise again. But if you are on the fence about getting yourself a tattoo you can certainly find a parlor nearby.

“Well, ya see, I’m not saying that I’ve been everywhere and I’ve done everything, but I do know it’s a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we’re all alone in THIS universe.”

If there is one thing you will find at PASS it is other database professionals just like yourself. No matter what your current skill level (except perhaps Paul Randal) you will be able to find others that are at your same evel. I know how easy it is to think that the issue you face daily are unique to your shop. But after a few conversations at PASS you start to understand how you are not all alone as a database professional. PASS is where you start building your network, a network of colleagues that you can collaborate with throughout the year.

“Like I told my last wife, I says, ‘Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.'”

There is a lot going on at the Summit next week. You can easily find yourself awake for 18 hours or more each day. If you do not pace yourself you will be dragging by Wednesday. You need to stay sharp and stay focused. Oh, and stay awake during the sessions. You never know when you are going to have to hustle to a session, or to the Exhibit Hall for some swag, or to the snack table to grab a cookie. Believe me, you need good reflexes around that snack table.

“I was *born* ready.”

No matter what your skill level you should head into sessions with confidence in your abilities. You may not be the most senior person in the room, but even senior administrators have questions. If you have a question, then ask. Ask the speaker. Ask the person next to you. Be confident in yourself and do not be afraid to ask for clarification on something, anything, that you want to learn more about. Many people are afraid to ask qustions for fear that people will think less of them or their abilities. We are all here to connect, learn, and share with each other. And the only way to do that is if people communicate with each other. So, be confident, and ask.

“Everybody relax, I’m here.”

No doubt that quote speaks volumes about Blythe Morrow (twitter). She will be at the PASS booth along with the “gang” from PASS HQ that will include Kate, Craig, Elena, Sanj, and Hannes. And David will be in the back room holding all the IT stuff together for everyone. And I cannot forget Judy. In short, PASS HQ will be there to help everyone and anyone, so we can all relax.

“What does that mean, huh? “China is here?” I don’t even know what the hell that means!”

I have been lost and confused in more than one session in my life. When I get confused I tend to ask my neighbor if they understand what is going on. I am not bashful when it comes to displaying my ignorance on something.

“I feel good, and I’m not scared at all. I just feel kind of . . . kind of invincible . . . Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?”

This quote is dedicated to everyone that is getting ready to present a session at the Summit this year. I presented the past two years and I know what it feels like as you get yourself prepared to speak. You go through a wide range of emotions. You will feel nervous, anxious, and even a little confused as you hurriedly try to get your laptop configured to work with the projector. And if the previous speaker has not broken down their stuff because of too many questions, that makes your time even shorter (by the way, if people are asking you questions, it is fine for you to answer them while breaking down your stuff in order to let the next speaker get set up, because that is what you would want a speaker to do for you as well).

Anyway, you go through all sorts of emotions, and you can even be confident about your upcoming talk, but most people are always a tad nervous just before they speak, resulting in that “is it hot in here” moment.

“I’m a reasonable guy. But, I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.”

Chances are you will be dazzled by some demo done at the keynotes. Last year it was the processing of a 1.7 TB cube in less than a minute. One year it was a demo of this thing they called SQL Fabric. I can also remember a demo of what is now called Policy Based Management and I remember how it seemed so advanced (and now it feels so mundane). The point here is that you will see things at PASS that will dazzle you. It could be during the keynote, during a session, or while you visit some of the vendor booths.

For me the thing that has dazzled me the most in all my time attending PASS would have to be last year when Donald Farmer was sending out tweets while standing backstage. About a dozen of us in the audience were interacting with Donald in real-time, which allowed him to alter his demonstration in order to make it more effective for everyone. It was a great experience and showed just how valuable Twitter (and PASS) has become for me professionally.

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: ‘Have ya paid your dues, Jack?’ ‘Yes sir, the check is in the mail.'”

PASS membership is free, you can save the stamp. No need to send a check. There are no annual dues. All you need to do is visit the website and fill out a form. It’s that easy.

So, there you go. Now I am thinking we should have a Movie Night at PASS where I can just screen some of my favorite cult classics and we can all sit around to discuss as if it was one big MST3K.