I remember the events now, almost ten years later, as if they were only yesterday. Congress and I had finally taken that trip to France and made our way down to a B&B located outside Avignon. Now Congress, being the diplomatic body that they are, were well versed in the French language and culture. I was merely along for the ride, having taken a few semesters of French in college but only remembering one phrase which is not as useful as you might think. Still, I was able to follow along in most conversations, understanding enough of what was being spoken, but having nowhere near the necessary linguistics training to actually dare speak.
Congress also has a Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, and as such they were always trying to encourage me to speak. As most experts will tell you, the best way to learn to speak a language is to actually try to speak it, especially if you are immersed in the culture. I could not have been more immersed in French at that point in time unless I was drinking some wine, and some coffee, eating some cheese, and had an inflated sense of self importance (all of which came two days later). So, Congress sent me into the main house to get some matches so that we could light some candles while we ate a light dinner outside our private cabin.
I knew all the words I needed. I even knew in what order to say them. And I even checked with Congress before setting off on my own into the main house. “So, I say it just like this, avez-vous des lunettes? Right? And they should know I am looking for some matches, right?” Congress gave me their approval, and off I went.
I walked through the main house, to the small desk they had set up for checking people in and out, and saw a familiar face of one of the men that worked there. He said “Bonsoir” to me and the game was afoot. I responded with my phrase, which sounded so beautiful, so perfect, and so immediately wrong as he responded with a quizzical look…
“…avez-vous des lunettes? des lunettes?”
After all my preparation, after all my practice, and most importantly after my subject matter expert confirmed my phrase to be correct, I was dead in the water. Sound familiar? How many times have we as IT professionals gathered all the information we thought was necessary, have the information verified by a trusted expert, only to find ourselves floundering during a discussion because we truly do not have enough depth in the subject? Sometimes it happens simply because we freeze up, our minds lock, and we cannot find the right words (say, during a presentation). So, we might know the info, but cannot communicate it effectively. Hey, it happens.
But, here is what also happens. The person will not have the depth and will either try to make things up as they go, skimming over fine details and facts and hope that no questions are asked. Or they will point the finger at someone else and say “Bruce was supposed to have provided me those details but they haven’t and that is why I am standing here looking like an idiot right now, because it is someone else’s fault.”
And what did I do? Well, I tried to explain, in English, what I was trying to accomplish. Not whole sentences, just some words and gestures, like “candles” and “matches”. Unfortunately nothing was working, so the man stepped away from the desk and brought back someone who did speak English,and that woman was able to explain what I was looking for, which was “des allumettes”.
Yeah, that’s right. I went in there, the bespectacled American, looking for matches, and asked the man “Have you any eyeglasses?” It’s no wonder he was confused. And even though I was out of my element, I did not run away, nor did I blame Congress (well, not in front of the innkeepers at least). I stayed there and made an effort to communicate as much as possible until we all understood the discussion and the action items. By the way, I never did get any matches, but I did get a lighter because apparently everyone in France has a personal lighter. I think it might be a law, or a rite of passage to be given a lighter after graduation or something.
Now if only every meeting I attend could run as smoothly, or be as funny.
Funny story. It’s not uncommon for other professional outside of IT (because its human) to think they have the necessary information, only to realize they haven’t covered all bases.