Have You Heard About the Swine Flu Pandemic?

I am at home today. Why? Because my son has a cough. It started on Sunday and progressed on Monday, and it sounded like the croup. Now, I am not a doctor, so we called our pediatrician who recommended that we keep an eye on him to make sure his breathing did not become too difficult. At no point did our pediatrician tell us that she felt that our son had anything other than croup. We even disclosed that our daughter had not been feeling well, which is typical at this time of year due to allergies. Again, nothing out of the ordinary was mentioned.

Apparently, we have the Swine Flu, which is very odd because I have not had bacon or pork in almost a week. How do I know it is the Swine Flu, as opposed to just allergies and/or the croup? Well, why else would school tell us to keep our kids at home for the next seven years? Or was it seven days? I forget which now. I guess I will just show up next week and see if they let us back in, but the big red “X” the townsfolk painted on our front door and cars may make it difficult for us to go anywhere unnoticed.

My company started sending out Swine Flu notices. This was followed by a phone call from Superintendent Chalmers. Apparently this Swine Flu has reached pandemic status to the point that both work and school are telling me to stay home, which would be fine except that I don’t fit the categories defined by the CDC as a possible risk. Well, we did drive past a Mexican restaurant this past weekend, maybe that is why everyone is afraid to stand in an elevator with me these days. Or it could be the fact that I wrestle with pigs in the backyard every night.

So, I wanted to mention this to you because I do not feel this Swine Flu pandemic is getting enough attention in the press which is a real shame because I think they would all be doing us a service by mentioning it at least once during each and every broadcast. And don’t worry about me spreading it to anyone else because I am going to go to work tomorrow wearing one of these

Which will make me look cool, healthy, and not these least bit freaked out over the pandemic you have not yet heard about.