Arnie,

Thanks for the comment, I agree completely. Decide what you want to be and focus on that, and don’t compare yourself to others. If you do, you will always be second best.

You are welcome, thanks for reading.

I’ve had too many conversations with successful, middle aged men, who lamented that they didn’t know their children. They had sacrificed family to be successful so that they could
provide the ‘things’ that they believed their family should have. Unfortunately, often their family didn’t have the most important thing -a highly involved and caring father.

I, too, have struggled with those internal conversations. Yes, I could give up more to be seen and recognized at ‘one of the best’. But I long ago decided that the cost was more than I wanted to pay. I learned to be content being a generalist, being the resource called in to help with the ‘big picture’ problems. Besides, my internal self just HAS to know about a lot of ‘stuff’ -I just recognize that I’m not inclined to be the ‘specialist’ with most of it. Having a great roladex (age showing here -aka, contact list) is extremely important to being a successful and sought after ‘generalist’.

To succeed, you don’t have to be just be the ‘best’ in a increasingly narrow ‘niche’, but there are places where dedicated ‘generalists’ are valued If that is your calling, be one of the best -but don’t sacrifice your family and health. It you are drawn to be a specialist, accept that you can’t be a generalist too. Find the balance.

Yes, it absolutely is true for women as well. in the book Rabbi Shmuley talks about the problems women face as they an innundated with images of Hollywood models all day long (TV, magazine covers, etc.) For guys, it is mostly about the perception of being a success. Rabbi Shmuley tries to point out how ordinary people are heroes to their children, and he does get his message across.

When you read about guys who made ten million dollars last year and they are depressed because they didn’t make more it really hits home. And it is not about greed, it is about your being perceived as a success or a failure by your peers.

It is a fascinating look into our society and, in my opinion, it is not unique to the USA, nor to one gender. It is a human quality, one that needs to be kept in check.