Whale Bacon

So the other night at dinner someone starting talking about how there is a movement to give land rights to gay whales which makes no sense to me because I don’t see how the whales are ever going to be able to maintain any land that they are given. They don’t even have thumbs, but we are supposed to give them land? For what purpose? So they can lay out in the sun?

Then tonight I started thinking about how cool it would be if we could make bacon from whales because that would be the biggest slice of bacon imaginable, but I figured there was no way to make bacon from such a creature because it is so different than a pig but I was told that bacon comes from the rib cage and that the Japanese have been eating whale bacon for years.

So now I am thinking that it would be amazing if I could have some lobster wrapped in whale bacon although it would seem to me that it would take too many lobsters to fit inside a whale so the whole idea is going to cost thousands of dollars to pull off. Plus I have to find some whalers and I am not sure if they even exist anymore. And I doubt I could fit that meal inside my house, but then I remembered that if we gave land rights to gay whales they could just invite me over for dinner.

So now I am all for giving them the land rights they deserve and I hope Obama can make it happen in the first 100 days because I haven’t had bacon in about twelve hours.