Communication Breakdown

We have all heard that it is important to communicate effectively, right? So how is it possible that, knowing the importance of good communication, we can still allow for poor communication to happen from time to time? You would think that we would double, or triple check everything that we read or hear, and choose our words carefully.

At the PASS 2007 conference in Denver, I experienced a serious communication breakdown that has had a lingering effect on many individuals to this very day. For it was at that conference a group of friends went to a karaoke bar one night. The bar was not very crowded, but it was slightly loud. I was sitting in a booth when Tim Ford came running over like a little schoolboy and said “Tom! Tom! They have <inaudible> on tap!”

Freeze frame.

Right there, at that moment, I had a choice to make. Do I pretend that I understood what he was saying, knowing that I had missed one word? Or do I ask him to repeat what he said, and make certain I understand what was being communicated? I choose to pretend to understand. I choose poorly.

I respond with a dumbfounded “OK”, thinking he was talking about some kind of beer. He looked at me, with fear in his eyes, and shouted “Do you want one?” And I then made what future generations will consider the greatest blunder in the history of PASS. I said “sure”.

A few minutes later, he came back with a double shot glass filled with some cold brown goo. There was no mistake, this was Jagermeister. And it was in front of me. And I had a choice to make. And for the second time in less than six minutes, I chose poorly.

I nursed that first one, easing into the experience, as I really did not want to drink it but felt that I must give it the old college try. By the end of the night the entire group was doing shots of Jager, I think we ordered about twenty total for all of us. The next night we were back, doing it again. And it is now a PASS tradition. People came out of the woodwork this year, requesting to join us in a celebratory round of Jager. During the year in between PASS conferences many people in the group would exchange emails, asking for help, and usually bartering a specific number of rounds of Jager. Todd Robinson even brought back a box of Jager minis from Germany to PASS 2008, and they were given away as tokens of esteem (ask Adam Machanic).

This year, we ordered a round of shots for a group of people attending the SQLServerPedia.com Wiki launch party. Sixteen shots in all. Then, after a period of time, we did another sixteen. At which time the bar told us they were out of Jager and it would be best if we left.

And all because I chose poorly one night fourteen months ago. I cannot stress the importance of effective communication, it can really help you avoid some headaches.