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Reasons Why I Should Not Be a SQL MVP
SQLstrology
So the other day I noticed that colorstrology is apparently a real thing and not something that I thought I was dreaming about after pulling an all night bender with ten pounds of double thick bacon. But what has yet to be written, until now that is, would be…wait for it…wait for it…
SQLstrology.
Yeah, that’s right, [...]
Cold Calls
I am thinking I should blog about this, but I didn’t want people to think I am a bigger ass than I already am. I have been assured that is not possible, so here goes.
Just a quick note to all those sales-persons out there that have me on their list of call to make. Stop [...]
Now Writing for MSSQLTips.com
Every now and then I see requests come to our team that say “hey, buddy, when was the last time that database was restored?” My first thought has been, historically, “how the hell am I supposed to know that?” After all, the management tools given to us (EM, SSMS) never list a “last restore date” [...]
Latest Email Scam
Normally I do not spend any time on this blog talking about all the email scams that get sent my way, no matter how interesting they may appear. But I wanted to mention one email that came my way yesterday. It was trapped by our corporate spam filter, and I did not see it until [...]
Chris Hansen Should Be a DBA
Thankfully I had yet another cross country flight yesterday. Why thankfully? Because the travel gives me ample time (and booze) to think about things like “If there was a DBA reality television show, what would it be like?” I started with the basics, something in a Survivor format, maybe a Big Brother, or The Apprentice, [...]
When To Use Auto Shrink
Never, that’s when.
Don’t want to believe me? Well then, who would you believe? How about the SQL Craftsman, a man with more MVP-ness than myself.
What’s that? Not good enough for you? Well, then, let me introduce you to Paul Randal. He had some thoughts on the subject.
http://blogs.msdn.com/sqlserverstorageengine/archive/2007/03/28/turn-auto-shrink-off.aspx
http://www.sqlskills.com/blogs/paul/post/Auto-shrink-e28093-turn-it-OFF!.aspx
So why is this still an option? I don’t [...]
SQL Server and NULL Values
I seemed to have struck a minor chord with my hatred for database triggers. I had very few comments, but a handful of emails and exchanged even more tweets on the subject. But one thing was made clear to me and that is people wanted to hear about why I disdain NULL values.
Fortunately for me I [...]
MVP Summit Update
I know what you are thinking, how could I, someone who is not attending the MVP Summit, possibly recap the events without being there? From the twitter stream, of course. Turns out that geeks love gadgets. What’s more, they love to talk (tweet) about their gadgets, or the gadgets they are looking at right now. [...]
SQL Database Triggers
I hate database triggers.
Whew. It feels good to get that out in the open. I have been holding that in for almost ten years. It got harder to admit after I became a DBA, and as time went by it started to feel as if I was trapped in a story by Edgar Allen Poe. [...]
Carbon Footprints
Apparently, someone is concerned with Google searches:
http://news.cnet.com/8301-11128_3-10140142-54.html
Now, why are they focusing on Google? I mean, how many hits a day does Amazon.com get? Why pick on Google? What about MSN.com? (I would ask about Live Search but chances are not enough people bother using that for it to matter as far as power consumption.)
I recall [...]
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