This video is an hour-long but well worth sharing with you today. One of the main takeaways from this video I want you to have is the fact that troubleshooting performance is not always rocket surgery. When you watch this video and listen to Conor Cunningham talk about some of the real world examples he has faced you will see what I mean.

I also liked how they help you to understand the concept of how to “bucketize” performance issues. It goes something like this:

Are all queries affected, or just a subset of queries affected?

If all queries are having performance issues then you will want to examine settings that affect the entire instance, such as memory settings, or high CPU utilization. You will want to do this first before trying to examine any one particular query.

If it is only a subset of queries (or users, or a particular application) then you will want to focus your efforts on those queries first. Otherwise you will be wasting time trying to fix one query without addressing the root cause of the performance issue affecting all queries. [A great example of this for my customers has to do with virtualization: why waste time trying to tune one query when the reason for the slowness is because your memory settings have been dynamically changed? Better to spend five minutes talking to your server admins about the memory for your guest than to waste time trying to get a query to suddenly run faster with less memory available.]

Just being able to diagnose “all versus some” in the first five minutes of triage in a production down situation can save you a lot of time as you begin to form your action plan to correct problem and bring performance back to within acceptable limits. Set aside some time this week to watch this video and learn more.

And better than ever before? How is that possible? Well, lots of reasons:

• The event is back to the 24 consecutive hour format
• The event is using a new platform, IBtalk
• The new platform will allow for closed captioning in 15 languages
• The PASS Virtual Chapters will be moderating each session

I really enjoy the 24 HoP event and I am happy to see that it has become popular with members of the PASS Community. Did you know there was a Russian event coming up? Well, you know it now. Hey, I wonder if they will have English subtitles for me?

If you haven’t yet taken the time to register for the upcoming 24 HoP event, go do it now. It only takes a minute.

http://www.sqlpass.org/24hours/spring2012/Home.aspx

See you there!

Never eat alone!

Today I did a guest post over at the SQL Server team blog and you can click here to go read it for yourself. Go ahead, I can wait.

Done?

Good.

I listed out three things that you can do right now to jumpstart your career. Of course there’s more ways than just those. Some of my favorite ones include: writing, speaking, and never eat alone.

If you are not writing (or speaking), get started. The simple effort of improving your communication skills will serve you well and I always finds leads to greater job satisfaction. No, not for that lousy job you have now, but for the next job. You know, the one that will be better because they need someone with good communication skills. Yeah, that one.

And never, ever eat alone. Check out this email I sent back in 2004:

—–Original Message—–
From: LaRock, Thomas W
Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2004 2:11 PM
To: Kinsel, Allen; Wright, Patrick
Subject: hermits

OK, I’ll be the first one to send off a quick email to the others. No reason for all of us to be anti-social.

It was nice to meet both of you while at PASS this year. I hope that we can stay in touch from time to time.

I received an email requesting some info about myself for volunteering for PASS. I decided to walk the walk and sent back some info so I should be getting involved with a committee or two of some sort. Hopefully we will be able to stay in touch through PASS, if not through regular email.

Best,

Thomas LaRock
Database Administration Manager

Had I chosen to eat alone at the 2004 PASS Summit I am certain my path would have been very, very different.

Yeah, the other Steve Jobs book which you can order by clicking on this link: The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs: How to Be Insanely Great in Front of Any Audience

I recently picked up a copy of this book. And by “picked up” I mean it was a gift from the amazing Suzanne Larocque (blog | @FemmeFoto) who wanted to help me become better at presenting. The only downside to the gift was that I received it the week before the PASS Summit, which meant is was far too late for me to incorporate any of the ideas into my talks at PASS.

Or was it?

And and even better question: Was I already doing some of the things mentioned?

I read the book in one evening, I simply could not devour it fast enough. Not because it was an amazing piece of work, but because I was fascinated by the structure. For the areas where I felt I was already succeeding in my presentations it was nice to have that affirmation. And for the areas where I am lacking it was nice to just ponder how I could alter my style but still remain “Tom”.

So, first disclaimer: I have been presenting and speaking to groups of people for over 20 years. I know that shocks some people, for different reasons I’m sure, but it is true. And I still get nervous every time.

Second disclaimer: I don’t think for a moment that I am Steve Jobs. And reading this book won’t change that. But I do have a desire to continue to get better at how I present my talks, whether it is at a SQL Saturday, a local PASS Chapter, a product demo for Confio, or while I introduce a keynote speaker for the PASS Summit (yeah…that WILL happen in 2012, so maybe the Mayans were right).

So what did I learn from the book? The section headers say it all, really:

1. Create the Story
2. Deliver the experience
3. Refine and rehearse

Now, there’s a LOT more to it than just that, but those three points are enough for me to rethink how I have been building my talks previously. One of the finer details mentioned in the book is a chapter called “Reveal a ‘Holy Shit’ Moment”, which has details accounts of presentations such as the time Jobs took that MacBook Air out of a fracken envelope while saying the words “the worlds thinnest notebook” over and over to the point you think Jobs had an MBA in “re-education”.

For most people I know that build talks they never really are able to accomplish ‘creating the story’, they just put text onto PowerPoint slides. It is something I struggle with as well. Two years ago or so I started doing my best to create the story first before I ever built one slide. I’d like to think it has helped my talks, given them more structure than they would have had otherwise.

And of course there is the delivery style. You need to know when you can make a joke, or when to pause, or raise your voice, etc. Lots of those details are in this book as well including the need for an antagonist (I plan on using @SQLClippy).

Oh, and one more thing: I need more props for my talks.

The PASS Summit has come and gone. If you were there, you participated in the single largest event full of #SQLWINNING ever assembled. It’s hard to put into words all of the emotions and events that took place last week so I am going to reach into the well again and pull out a movie to use for quotes that apply to the week that was. You’re welcome.

This year I am going to use Wedding Crashers. If you have to ask “why” then you haven’t seen the movie. Well, I suppose you may have seen the movie and are still asking “why”, so let me explain in terms you can understand: SQL Wedding. That’s right, there was a wedding at the PASS Summit. I am trying to dig through the Summit history archives right now and I don’t see any mention of a wedding taking place, during Summit, by two attendees.

So with that, let’s get this started.

“I’m not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you.”

This quote just about sums up the First Timers event for me. It wasn’t perfect, but it was good. I’m not sure people understand the logistics behind trying to assemble over 1,000 people in a single group activity. We failed on many levels. We had Big Brothers and Sisters that didn’t show. For those that did show, it was hard to find their group. The room we had was late getting changed over. One room we thought we had we didn’t have. It was organized chaos, at best. But it was also v1.0 of a product, with the Beta testing having been done just the previous year.

We have lots of areas to improve upon for next year, with the idea in mind that in 2013 we will be in a different venue altogether (Charlotte). But my goal for the event will stay the same: to find ways to get people connected. It was not very long ago that I was told by a good friend that PASS did a lousy job of helping people connect. I set out to change that, and I think we have. Time will tell, of course, but I think we are on the right track.

I have no idea how to top the entrance for next year. When discussing the event earlier this summer I asked for a “reveal” and the Red Carpet was what we could do regarding the logistics. I wanted the first timers to be treated like stars. Somewhere in that group of 1,000 is a future PASS President, and I wanted them to know it. I think we did that.

Name me one other conference, tech or professional, that treats its members with as much pomp and circumstance as we did this year. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

“And I’m sorry I called you hillbilly. I don’t even know what that means. It’s OK. Do you mind if I get married now?”

Well, this is an easy one, because WE HAD A WEDDING! It was officiated by Rob Zombie Denny Cherry (blog | @mrdenny) and attended by a dozen or so of us. The rehearsal dinner was sponsored by Microsoft (held at their Tweetup), the ceremony was sponsored by Confio (providers of something old, something new, something borrowed, AND something blue), and the reception was sponsored by PASS (Gameworks).

I met Tamara (rhymes with camera) last year at the Nashville SQL Saturday as she accosted me in Kevin Kline’s kitchen. Seriously. She ran over to me like a Japanese schoolgirl to introduce herself and scared the hell out of me (remember folks, I am a shy person by nature). I spent time with her and KLT and they told me about the NASA Tweetup. So, without them, I would have never known about the Tweetup, and never gotten the chance to share a launch experience with Karen Lopez (also in attendance at the SQL Wedding). In other words, I am a HUGE fan of theirs and being able to witness their wedding was very, very special to me.

I’m sure it was special for them as well, of course.

“HEY MOM! CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF?”

We do our best to provide our attendees with some decent meals. However we are limited by what can be provided on site by the WSCTC staff. The food this year was not the worst I have ever had there, but it also seemed to be lacking a bit. I really can’t put my finger on what was missing, but something just seemed “off”. Perhaps I have been traveling so much, to so many events, that the food available at most convention centers all seems to be the same. I don’t know, but I can look into this for next year. For example, why can’t we have popcorn as a snack in the afternoon, right?

Anyway, you have food options outside of the WSCTC, and I explored a few of them. I hit a handful of my usual spots and also a few new ones. When I arrived in town on Monday I met my friend Todd Robinson (@DevSQL) and we grabbed a bowl of pho. I was told about places that served tempura bacon, and another with braised bacon. It seemed that everyone I spoke with had found some local place to grab a bite to eat.

Bottom line: don’t just rely on the food that is provided, get outside and soak up some local city flavor while in town.

“You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!”

At some point during the week I saw something on Twitter that summed up everything so perfectly, so elegantly: #sqlfamily.

Nothing else can describe the PASS Community, or the greater SQL Community, than that hashtag. We are a family. We don’t always get along, we often disagree and fight, we bicker a lot, we tease each other, and we are very quick to point out our faults.

But we also love and support each other. We vacation together and go out of our way to help one another when help is needed.

The PASS Community has grown because we continue to grow as a family, almost like rabbits at this point. We treat each other as best we can, in the way that we would want to be treated. I can be totally pissed at one person today and tomorrow I am going to stand by their side when they need it most. We are database professionals and the only people who understand us, are us, and for that reason alone we stand by each other no matter what.

Just like a family should.

“What is she doing back there? I never know what she’s doing.”

I disappeared during the Summit. A lot. And most of the time people were always wondering where I was going. And most of the time it was to a meeting of some kind. A few times it was for a session (I presented one 1/2 day session on Thursday, was in a panel discussion on Friday, and then in another session right after that one), and other times it was to support my friends with whatever they needed. In some cases it was to spend 10 minutes talking to someone that needed a friend, or to see a friend’s session, or to attend an event sponsored by PASS. I even walked the exhibit floor and thanked the vendors for coming and supporting PASS. There were only a few moments during the Summit where I was needed in fewer than two places at the same time.

But when I disappeared most people had no idea where I was going. And some times I could say where I was going, and other times I could not. And I didn’t always handle it very well, but I did try my best. I joked on Twitter the week before the Summit that I needed a handler for the event, and I really could have used one. I am hoping that next year I can just pay Colin Stasiuk (blog | @BenchmarkIT) to be my handler and get me from one scheduled event to another and allow me to focus on where I am as opposed to where I need to be next.

“You didn’t happen to catch my speech on the Paraguayan debt and money supply issue did you? Are you kidding me? I thought it was great! Your argument for the inverse ratio of capitalization to debt was genius. Now if we could just get Congress not to be so short-sighted. Yes! Well put. Short-sighted. John, what d’you say we head onto the deck and light up a couple of cigars?”

This quote between John and the Senator strikes me as something that happens between Summit attendees all the time:

“So there I was, and this developer asked me to give him full rights to production because he had to check on something real quick.”

“So, what did you do?”

“I said no, but I would be happy to help him check. And then he got pissed and said I was nothing but a roadblock to his productivity.*”

“Yeah, I have a similar douche-canoe on our dev team as well. You need to let it go, though, otherwise it will consume you.”

One of the best things about being at the Summit is striking up a conversation with someone and suddenly realizing that you are not alone. It is an awesome feeling, and one I was lucky to experience in my first Summit. Most MSSQL DBAs are working alone in their shops, making it difficult to know if their struggles are unique or not. But at the Summit you can connect with others that have shared experiences, making you feel less alone in the Universe. And that is a very powerful feeling. I liken it to being enlightened.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said and I think the problem is that I’m not being adventurous enough for you.”

This quote is for the non-Dewitt keynote presentations I have seen the past few years. They have been less than adventurous, to say the least. I am not trying to be disparaging in any way here, just trying to help explain what it is that we would want to see. And believe me, we do know what we want.

For example, did we really need to see an demo of Excel that showed us how kids like frozen yogurt? Of course not. And I also didn’t need to see a demo that showed me how easy it is to find out who Alan Rickman is…I already know who he is!

Look, Microsoft has been collecting data for over a year with Systems Center Advisor (formerly Project Atlanta). Why not use your Excel juju to slice and dice actual performance data for our crowd? We would have eaten that up like candy and asked for more. Would it have been that difficult to show your shiny new tools but in a way that would be more applicable for the crowd you were speaking to? Frozen yogurt? Really?

Bottom line: show us the tools you want, but with data and examples that are relevant. Otherwise we get the feeling that your slides are canned and not special for us. And while that may be the truth, it wouldn’t hurt to toss us something to make us feel like you prepared something special.

Before I forget, a big THANK YOU for revealing the name SQL 2012 at the Summit. That was awesome. Now, about those Mayans…

“Please don’t take a turn to negative town.”

On Tuesday morning, while grabbing my backpack to leave for the Summit, my laptop fell out of the side pocket and onto the floor. My first thought? “Crap.” My second thought? “I’ve dropped laptops before, it will be fine, just pack it and check on it later.”

Later came the next morning, as I wanted to start prepping for my talk on Thursday. I opened up the laptop and started it up and was greeted with this:

I'm sure that will buff right out.

Uh-oh. I was starting to panic until I was reminded by Jonathan Allen (@fatherjack) that I had dual screens as a presenter and should be able to present with little issues. That reduced my stress levels somewhat and a quick check in the speaker room that the VGA output wasn’t damaged and I was ready to go. The real downside to all of this was that I didn’t have my presenter view available, so I needed to know all of my slide transitions, which I didn’t. So I had to make it up as I went along and I won’t really know how I did until I get back my evaluation scores. I think I managed it well enough but had a few issues when trying to demo some things on a VM inside my VM Workstation on the laptop. If I get docked for that, so be it, I was the klutz that dropped the laptop.

I think the lesson here is this: check your zipper. Otherwise you never know what may fall out.

[smacks his butt] “Watch me take this on down the road.”

To say I was overbooked at the Summit is an understatement. I was everywhere, and nowhere, all at the same time. And every time I had to excuse myself to go somewhere I felt bad for doing so. The worst example happened at the Birds of a Feather table hosted by Allen White. We were having a discussion about Service Broker, which got diverted to triggers, and as my hatred for triggers bubbled to the surface I did my best to stay calm. A few minutes later I got up and thought I mentioned to Allen that I had to go to the meet and greet for the Board of Directors that was about to start. I don’t think Allen heard me and was confused as to why I was leaving the table so suddenly. Allen, I apologize to you and everyone else at that table for leaving in that manner, and will do my best to be very mindful of my manners next time.

I could go on about all the time I had to leave one event or another. Next year I am going to set my schedule and not promise to be in two places at once.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the energy of the Summit, all of the exciting things to do and people to meet. I am flattered that I get invited to four different dinners in one evening. I want to spend time with everyone. I just don’t like the looks I get when I have to move on to the next one in order to keep a promise. So, next year, I promise to make fewer promises.

There you have it, the PASS Summit 2011 recap:

Best.

Summit.

Ever.

See you next year!

Sitting on the plane, just a few rows back from Mark Souza, and a few rows ahead of James Rowland-Jones as we head to Seattle for the PASS Summit. We met some else on our flight heading to the Summit as well, and I know of a few folks on other planes arriving around the same time that we will. Mark and JRJ are going to head to the Microsoft campus for some meetings and I am going to head downtown and hope to be in my hotel room by around lunchtime.

If I was a bit more organized I would have put together a Summit Preview blog post using quotes from the movie Highlander. Why that movie? Simple, because right now I feel as if this is our Quickening, where all the immortals gather to sort out who will be “the one” and win the Prize.

Well, I would use that movie except for one little detail. The SQL Community is not about one person, winning a prize for having bested all the other immortals over a thousand year battle. Instead, to me, the entire SQL Community is “the one”. And while we are still a tad shy of having been on Earth for one thousand years in many ways the kindness we show to each other and to the first timers we meet along the way seems to be a part of human nature that goes back tens of thousands of years.

You are going to hear this phrase a lot this week: This is Community. When you look around the room during the keynote it will be hard for you to feel otherwise.

To me the Summit is a lot of things: a Community, a gathering, the Quickening, a summer camp, the Super Bowl of SQL conferences, a place where I can hear many different languages being spoken, and a place where I can help make a difference.

I don’t know of any other place quite like it for SQL geeks like myself.

See you soon.

I am sitting in my usual seat (3D) flying home from the SQL Saturday event (#97) in Austin. This event has cracked my top five events for the year, despite my almost having been murdered in my motel the night before. I’m not joking. Ask anyone else who stayed there if they also felt like we were in a scene from “No Country For Old Men“. I guarantee the answer is “yes”.

I only had one talk (SQL Server Memory Management, a tune up for the same talk I am giving at PASS next week), and I only attended one talk (by Conor on the columnstore in Denali) during the day, but I met some truly wonderful people during the day of the event, as well as the night before during the speaker dinner. I think I even recorded some video that night, and will post it once I find it.

During the morning introductions Wes Brown mentioned that I had the honor of being the very first speaker to sign up for the event. I reminded Wes that he promised me bacon (which was NEVER delivered) and that’s why I came to Austin. But the truth is that I came because Wes asked. It really was that simple.

I have known Wes for a few years now, and he is one of those people on this Earth that I drop everything for when they ask for a favor. When he told me he was having an event, I didn’t hesitate to register, regardless of the bacon factor. There are times when I am simply in awe that Wes F’n Brown would even talk to me, so it is natural for me to want to serve him in any way possible. I am already counting the days until I can return to Austin.

This was a wonderful event, mostly because nobody lost their life despite the high probability for those of us at that motel. (Then again, we *were* right across from a hospital, so chances are we would have been saved, but I really don’t know). It was great to connect with some old friends as well as to make lots of new ones.

I am quite honored to be a member of this Community.

Thank you.

Well the 2011 PASS Summit is over, and it was another wonderful week of events. Back when I started attending the PASS Summit I would write a blog post to recap each day. Eventually I didn’t have time to write that many posts and it became a one postr recap for the entire week. [And now I don't even have enough time to do it after, so I need to do it in advance.]

So, what did I enjoy most about the 2011 PASS Summit? Here’s the list:

• I met over 800 people who were attending their first Summit
• I presented two sessions, including one of the new 1/2 day sessions
• The Welcome Reception
• Coffee with Buck Woody (blog | @buckwoody)
• Attending sessions led by the best SQL Server experts on the planet
• Gameworks
• Breakfast with friends at That little French bakery
• Lunch with friends at La Crepeire Voila
• Breakfast with friends at Top Pot Doughnuts
• Starting the week off at Zig Zag
• Many nights of SQL Karaoke, and watching Jason Strate (blog | @stratesql) dance
• Having breakfast at 13Coins
• Vendor reception
• PASS Board meetings
• Meeting many friends from all over the world, some for the first time

I’m sure I have either forgotten or misremembered something, but that’s to be expected consider (1) I am getting old and senile and (2) I get very little sleep during the week of the Summit.

And I can’t wait for the 2012 PASS Summit with our special guests the Mayans!

I love history, always have. I don’t recall when my love for history started (yes, that does seem strange) but it has been with me for years. In college I took a course on Urban Design and I suddenly found myself with a deeper appreciation of history than I had before. I mean, it was one thing to learn about events, but it was another to learn about, and be able to touch, physical buildings. They just seemed to come alive for me.

Last year I had the opportunity to take the Seattle Underground tour, along with about 30 others. I had known about the tour for a few years but never had the opportunity to go on one. The tour does exactly as promised: it takes you below the city streets of Seattle. As a bonus, you get to understand a bit more about what it was like to live in a Frontier town. That essentially means you hear a lot about drinking, prostitution, and con artists.

Yeah, of course I loved it. I found it quite informative, especially if I ever suffer from “the pains”.

After the tour was done I grabbed a quick dinner and ended up at Zig Zag’s, another favorite spot for everyone to start our week in Seattle. If you go, I would recommend you ask your server to “put some Christmas in my mouth“. Trust me.

Well, OK, sometimes it is. But not always.

Twice in my life I have had the distinction of having Kevin Kline (blog | @kekline) tell me that I am not loved by enough people. The first was in 2007 in Denver, and Kevin delivered the news to me with a mouth full of chicken wings (true story). The next time was in 2008, but this time he did so while sitting at a table in a conference room at the convention center sans chicken wings. In both cases, the reason for the conversation was simple: I had lost the election for the PASS Board of Directors, and Kevin was the one to tell me the news.

I honestly have no idea how I ever decided to even run for the Board. I recall being asked by others to apply, and I recall making it through the nomination process. But when the time came to count the votes I was always coming up short it seemed.

But I am nothing if not persistent. And in 2009, while in between film sessions for a SSWUG Virtual Conference, I got a phone call. Many of you may already know how much I hate answering the phone. Well, when Kevin Kline calls, you answer the damn phone! I did and he told me I had finally won an election.

That was two years ago. Somehow it seems much farther away than the memory of 2007, and the disappointment that night.

Fortunately such disappointing events are few and far between for me at PASS Summits. In fact, those are the only two disappointments I can recall in all of the years I have been attending.

Not too shabby.