I just happened to notice that this is my 1,000 published post, so I thought it was worth my spending some time reflecting on things a bit.
Here is the first official post, back from when I was on Blogger as the “Crazy DBA”. It went live 9 years ago this month. Truthfully, my blogging goes back 11 years, to when I started writing about the birth of my daughter. And then there were all the fantasy football write-ups I used to do for my league. I seem to recall making my own newspapers as a kid, too.
So, yeah, I’ve been writing for a while.
Funny thing is that I never enjoyed writing. Well, not when I was told to write. I once dropped a class in college after the professor read the syllabus and mentioned something about a “10-page term paper” due at the end. I then went and signed up for a course named “Numerical Analysis” because that had a term paper of exactly 0 pages.
Yet here we are, all these years later, with you reading what I write here.
When I started Crazy DBA 9 years ago I didn’t do it to write 1,000 posts. I didn’t do it to be famous, or even internet-famous. I did it because I felt I had something to say. And I did have something to say.
But here’s the thing; what I had to say at the time was fairly negative.
I wasn’t turning to blogging in order to spread joy. No, I was turning to blogging to vent my frustrations. It seems as if that is what the Internet does best for everyone. It allows for people to act like jerks, to treat others poorly, to yell and scream about their #firstworldproblems. They do this because, like me at the time, they don’t believe their voices are being heard, and the Internet gives them a voice. As a lone Database Administrator that was in over his head more often than not, I needed to vent. A lot.
And I totally understand that feeling.
And I totally understand that you need to vent.
And I totally understand that’s an awful way to go through life.
So I am here today, using my 1,000th post in a way that I hope will help to serve as a reminder for anyone that is turning to blogging, or the internet, as a way to vent their frustrations.
Stop. Don’t do it. You do not end up in a better place.
You don’t get better by dragging those around you down. You get better by lifting those around you up.
Oh, sure, you can always find someone to tell you that the quickest way to the top is by creating conflict and drama and inserting yourself into the middle of the discussion as if you are a voice of reason. And yes, it does work. Just look at all the talking heads on television. Humans crave drama. If you want to be internet famous then by all means, go for the drama. It sells.
But I’m not buying it. Not anymore.
Life is too short to be miserable all the time.
We need fewer #firstworldproblems and more #100HappyDays.
If you surround yourself with miserable people then chances are you will be a miserable person. And if you surround yourself with happiness each day you will find yourself a happier person.
I know which person I’d rather be with, and which one I’d rather be, too.
Over the past 18 months I’ve taken steps to focus on the positive aspects of each day. It’s been a long journey, but I believe much of what I write and share online reflects a person who is much, much different than when this blog started 9 years ago. Heck, I’m not the same person I was even 18 months ago.
Don’t let 1,000 miserable posts leave your fingertips. Don’t go read 1,000 miserable posts, either.
Write happy. Read happy. Because the world needs more happy.
if this were a kindle book, I’d highlight this bit
“to yell and scream about their #firstworldproblems. They do this because, like me at the time, they don’t believe their voices are being heard, and the Internet gives them a voice”
I think its important to remember that they should have a way to let their voices be heard. Shut up and man up isn’t always the answer. They need an appropriate forum where they can complain and not bring people down.
It’s not what you say, but how you say it. You can vent without being abrasive to everyone around you and online.
I think the other thing is the target of venting. If you vent about a broken iPhone screen, that’s helpful. If you vent that Apple is a bunch of crappy engineers who can’t design something that works because your Win Phone screen has never broken, then you are doing it wrong.
Sharing exasperation, then offering advice on how to help others not deal with that issue: priceless.
Agreed. I’d say that has been a big change in my writing over the past few years, too. It’s one think to bitch about problems, quite another to identify the root cause and offer solutions. I try my best to make certain my posts are helpful to the reader, and not just to myself.
Agreed. I rarely vent about technical things though. I much prefer to submit bug reports, write patches, and stack exchange answers. There are plenty of imaginary internet points to win for those things. Now soft skills and people issues never more grey and less imaginary internet points to win.
Understanding why people vent and saying people shouldn’t vent are two different things. I’m all for letting folks do what they want. As the person who is actively listening for the unhappy folks, I would only say this: if you are venting, don’t assume no one is listening. But, I try not to take it personally when you call me names. Mostly.
Which names would you *like* to be called?
Thanks Jeff!
I agree that lifting people up is better than putting them down, but venting is beneficial. Perhaps a blog is not the place to do it. I found a private subreddit and people do a lot of venting there because it offers an extra level of anonomity.
Perhaps the key is to vent is less permanent places on the internet, or spend more times in bars with other IT professionals.
Well, yeah, Reddit does seem to be the place where civility is an afterthought. While venting may have some benefits, if you find yourself doing nothing but venting than I think you will find that eventually you get tuned out by those around you. Which will only result in more venting, I’m sure.
I do think the key is in having more conversations with actual people, and less time with your keyboard.
>Well, yeah, Reddit does seem to be the place where civility is an afterthought.
I agree 100% for the default sub’s, but the more esoteric ones are moderated and self regulated pretty well. A closed subreddit for dads I belong to often has “Rave about X” threads when the balance gets too negative, and rants are replied to with real advice. Once again YMMV. For two examples of public civil subreddits, I refer you to wicked_edge and DaystromInstitute.
>I do think the key is in having more conversations with actual people, and less time with your keyboard.
That’s a good point, but sometimes it’s not realistic. When I was single and half a DINK, I could go to all the user groups wanted to. Yes I get paid well and can afford professional counseling for wetware troubleshooting, but that still translates into time I’m not chasing my toddler around.
Someone on reddit will listen to me any time of day and I can armchair quarter back someone else’s life at their request to pay it forward after the kid accepts defeat and sleeps.
I’ve yet to see a positive side to Reddit, but I’m willing to look again based upon your comment.
I stalk the /r/Oracle and folks are genuinely nice there for the most part.
Great post!
Thanks!
I now have this song in my head: http://youtu.be/y6Sxv-sUYtM
Nice! I like the Weird Al version, too.
THANK YOU –
YOU’RE WELCOME!
Such a great message. Thank you for being so open. Positivity definitely breeds positivity and negativity breeds negativity. Venting is a bad habit (in my opinion) – one that I know first-hand is very hard to break but well worth breaking.
Venting is, indeed, a bad habit. While I can recognize that it is sometimes necessary, it can also be a crutch that people rely upon far too often in order to feel that their voice is being heard.
Good post, Tom. Thanks for the thoughts. Some things to take to heart there 🙂 Thanks for the 1,000 posts. Here’s to another 1,000
OMG! Another 1,000? That would mean I would be blogging for close to 20+ years (based upon my current output). I can’t image blogging for that long.
All truth here – great post.
Thanks!
Congratulations on 1000 posts!
Thank you!