Meme Monday: I Got 99 SQL Problems And the Disk Ain't One

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This time we are going to use the Hugo song “99 Problems” for our posts. The reason for this is because I keep replacing the word “disk” in the hook every time I hear that song. And that got me thinking: how many things can go wrong with a database server that are NOT related to a disk drive?

Now, I don’t expect you to each list out 99 things (although I bet we could). Instead let’s shoot for nine (9) problems that you frequently see in your shop which are not related to disk issues. Here’s mine:

  1. memory settings
  2. linked servers
  3. active directory
  4. EXECUTE AS
  5. developers
  6. view of views of views that use linked servers
  7. bad database design
  8. vendor code
  9. managers

Yours can match mine, just list the first nine things that come to mind and I bet we will find 99 distinct problems across all the Meme Monday posts.

Not that it is needed for Meme Monday but I am tagging a few folks:

  • Jason Strate (blog | @stratesql)
  • Denny Cherry (blog | @mrdenny)
  • Allen Kinsel (blog | @sqlinsaneo)

Don’t wait to get tagged to write a post of your own for Meme Monday, just go do it!

20 thoughts on “Meme Monday: I Got 99 SQL Problems And the Disk Ain't One”

  2. Here goes ours:

    1. Multi-threading enabled
    2. Network Configuration (iSCSI related)
    3. MPIO configuration
    4. SAN related drivers/firmware
    5. Missing registry keys

    Reply

  3. 1. Users delete data they shouldn’t.
    2. A memory module goes bad.
    3. Backup tapes get lost or damaged.
    4. The SA password is compromised.
    5. The network goes out, so no one can access the database.
    6. The requirements for a project change drastically at the last minute.
    7. The documentation you’re using to try to fix a problem turns out to be wrong.
    8. Your mentor suddenly quits.
    9. Your raise is denied.

    Reply
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