Name That Caption Contest

The first round of the “Name That Caption” contest over at DBASurvivor.com will end next Friday, winner gets a copy of my upcoming book. Head over to http://dbasurvivor.com/?p=29 to learn more.

We have had a fair number of entries to date and I already have my top five set aside for people to vote on. But there is still time to get yourself entered. Below are all the entries so far. I’m still amazed that no one went with “this is the strangest urinal I have ever used.”

  • “You met me at a very strange time in my life” – SQLChicken
  • “…Therefore by optimizing your queries you can…HEY GET AWAY FROM MY SEGWAY!” – SQLChicken
  • “First day of work and of COURSE I forgot to wear underwear. This won’t end well…” – SQLChicken
  • “My database, I can not deny her. My database screams. She is my mother. She is my lover, and I am her DBA.” – SQLChicken
  • “Somewhere out there, a database is crying out in pain.  I can feel it.” -BrentO
  • “So this is what an Oracle DBA’s office looks like?”-BrentO
  • “I wonder if I could throw a developer through this window.” -BrentO (Inspired by @SQLDumbAss.)
  • “Is that the SQLBatLight in the distance?”-BrentO
  • “I finally found a view in this company that I don’t have to maintain – the Access guy washes the windows.”-BrentO
  • “The recovery is complete, time to reflect.” -Breck Dahlin
  • “If a backup fails and no one gets an alert, did it really fail?” – Jonathan Gardner
  • “Somewhere out there someone shrunk a database and killed a kitten because of it.” -Troy Gallant
  • “Ok, who put the datacenter up here on the 35th floor??” -Troy Gallant
  • “Sheesh, from way up here those full-text indexes look like ants!” -Troy Gallant
  • “Now, I know the executive washroom’s somewhere around here.” -Troy Gallant
  • “SQL Server – Color Your Day!” -Valentino Vranken
  • “Waiting for that report to finish?  Hire A DBA!” -Valentino Vranken
  • “A World of Data Awaits” -Mike Wells
  • “A World of Databases Awaits” -Mike Wells
  • “I am done with my work today,  here is what I want to do for tomorrow?” -msrviking
  • “How do I achieve 99.99% SLA with all these jokers around?” -msrviking
  • “What is that I should budget for this year?” -msrviking
  • “How do I fly between these tall buildings?” -msrviking
  • “Yeah… I’m going to have to take a taxi to get back to my car. Why did I park so far away?” -Andrew Dykstra
  • “I wonder if those people can tell that I’m not wearing any pants?” -Jon Crawford
  • “Crap, this database is more corrupt than our Accounting team.” -Jordan Bullock
  • “This mural IS pretty life-like, but I still miss working above ground.” -Jordan Bullock
  • “Mark?  MARK!  We asked you where you see yourself in 10 years. Hello?” -Jordan Bullock
  • “Hey!  Anybody out there hiring?!?  I hate it here!” -Jordan Bullock
  • “Wow, the contractor did a GREAT job fixing the window the last DBA jumped through!” -Jordan Bullock
  • “DBA’s Log Stardate 0518.2 – Today’s encounter with SQL Server 6.5 was deeply disturbing…” -AdaTheDev
  • “SELECT Building FROM vwWindow ORDER BY Height ASC” -AdaTheDev
  • “The sinking feeling soon hits as he realises his new job is not actually as Drew Barrymore’s Assistant .” -AdaTheDev
  • “If you always blame the developer, you’ll always be the victim.” -Marlon Ribunal
  • “You’ll always be the first casualty of your database failure.” -Marlon Ribunal
  • “Don’t suck! It’s not the database, stupid!” -Marlon Ribunal
  • “We will upgrade the server when we hit the ‘wall’…” -Josef Richberg
  • “I’m going to jump if I don’t get bacon soon” -Pat Wright
  • “I hope those zombies aren’t coming for me” -Pat Wright
  • “Has anyone seen my database?” -Pat Wright
  • “This city needs more bacon!” -Pat Wright
  • “I wonder if I can shrink that building like I do my databases?” -Pat Wright
  • “Why in the hell is Thom making us do this contest?” -Pat Wright
  • “Made it! I’m a SQL Server DBA! Now what?” -wnylibrarian
  • “Guess the interviewers didn’t like that SQL injection joke.” -wnylibrarian
  • “Is that a clown, a priest, and a rabbi heading into that bar?” -wnylibrarian
  • “I can only hope they think it was Tibor who dropped that sales database. -wnylibrarian
  • “I’m out there Jerry and I’m loving every minute of it!” -wnylibrarian
  • “Think I’ll go ‘Candle Pin Bowling’ after work.” -wnylibrarian
  • “Wonder when they’ll find out there really is no back up?” -wnylibrarian
  • “You can’t shrink databases you can only hope to contain them.” -wnylibrarian
  • “Damn! I know I should’ve taped the SA password to the side of my monitor.” -wnylibrarian
  • “Oh no…I think I left the iron on…” -wnylibrarian

2 thoughts on “Name That Caption Contest”

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.