Well, he went and did it again, Chris Shaw started yet another web chainpost. This time he tagged Brent Ozar and Brent tagged me and put the pressure on me to be “witty” in my response. I swear, it’s like he doesn’t even know me.

So, this quiz is a two parter, which makes me think of those philosophy exams I had during my freshman year in college. The professor would make us think it was easy by saying “hey, it will be multiple choice” and you would think that meant maybe four options at the most but then you would sit down and there would be eight options with answers like “a and b but never c” or “a or b and sometimes c” and you just wanted to ask the professor why he hates other humans so much.

So, here are my answers. You’re welcome.

Do you feel that you have a reliable SAN solution? If so, what’s the secret?

Yes. The secret is Calgon, everyone knows that. And if you run out of Calgon just buy a boatload of cache.

Explain Database Mirroring in layman’s terms

Doesn’t that depend on the layman I am speaking with? Or should my explanation work for all layman? Wait a minute, what is a layman anyway? Because I thought that was the same as a Freemason or a Stonecutter. Be right back.

OK, a layman is someone identified as a non-expert in a given field. So, you want me to explain database mirroring in a way so that anyone, including a child, could understand it? How about this:

Long ago, in ancient times, in the time before time, people were asked to make copies of their work. This led to some very interesting inventions throughout history, most notable the printing press, the polygraph, and ultimately the modern day copy machines. But(t) as society progressed to the point where deliverables were measured in fractions of a second as opposed to days or weeks, these archaic methods were no longer good enough. There was more and more demand placed upon people to deliver the same piece of information into many different places all at the same time without any loss of service.

Soon a great battle took place between two giant beasts named Cluster and Log Shipping, who had easily beaten down the inferior SQL Replication in a pay-per-view event two months prior. Cluster and Log Shipping battled for years, neither giving an inch to the other, until such time that they were both badly beaten, weakened, and barely able to stand.

At that time a great hero rose from the ashes of Clusters and the ruins of Log Shipping. The hero’s name was Database Mirroring and promised that everything was going to be different. Database Mirroring promised real time synchronization of your data without the hassle of log shipping. Database Mirroring promised faster fail over without the need for a cluster. In short, Database Mirroring promised the best of all other technologies, with none of the shortcomings, and even brought along a witness to attest to its abilities.

The end. Sweet dreams.

Who I am Tagging

Aaron Alton

Jeremiah Peschka

Hip, hip, Jorge!